You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
