Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
