Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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