Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
