You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
