i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
