I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
