We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
