when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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