How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
