My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
