I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
