How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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