Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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