we have pet lesbian snakes
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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