Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
