His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
