AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
