So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
