Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
