she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
A+ Viking dick
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
