i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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