i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
