where am i from again
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
