If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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