Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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