I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
