What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
