Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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