love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
