as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize