Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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