gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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