when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
