3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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