he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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