just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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