Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize