all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
