No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize