I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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