Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
