hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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