Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We are two peas in an std pod
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
