You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
