My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
