our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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