Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
