That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
