So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
