The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize