i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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