Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
