called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
