I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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