Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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