i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize