I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
