You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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