I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
